He Loves Me He Loves Me Not
by Spoby.SpencerAndToby
Summary: Spencer's world is shaken when her loyal-as-a-puppy boyfriend, Toby Cavanaugh, betrays her in the worst way. How will she go on? How will Toby feel when he does something that will make her spiral downwards? Can Spencer and Toby really make it through everything?
1. Chapter 1

**Ok so this is my first chapter of my first story! Yay! Please review! I need opinions but keep it nice please :) I know its short and probably bad but its my first one! New chapter soon! Hopefully later tonight or tomorrow morning, but this story will be updated frequently because I have developed an obsession ;) The lines separate Spencer and Toby POV. **

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><p>"I love you Spence"<p>

She woke up to find her face stained with tears and the mascara she didn't care enough to take off the previous night.

She sits in bed and curls up into a ball and breaks into another fit of hysterical crying. Her entire body shakes violently as the sobs rip through her chest. She doesn't understand why she is being tortured with these beautiful dreams of the guy she thought she knew and who she thought loved her endlessly.

After she finally composes herself she decides to skip school for like the thousandth time this week. She heads to the brew for coffee because no coffee Spencer and just-found-out-her-boyfriend-is-on-the-A-team Spencer probably isn't a good mix. As she is walking into the brew she gets stares which she can only assume are about her un-Hastings like appearance. She knows that her gray tee shirt, leggings, and undone hair cant really be described as a "put-together appearance," but right now she really couldn't care less.

Before she can even order her coffee she sees Mona leaving the brew. She decides to see where the five foot tall devil was heading. She waits a few seconds after Mona leaves to go to her car. When she gets in she waits for Mona to pull out and then pulls out behind her but not too close for her to notice she was being followed. Mona, for some reason was heading into the forest. This came as a confusion to Spencer but as Mona got out of her car she did the same, trailing behind her.

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><p>Mona goes to where Toby is camping, which is some clearing in the forest. "We need to stage a fake death for you right now." Toby stares at her in confusion. "Just lay on the ground and put your helmet on now." Toby does as she orders because well, she's Mona and who knows what she could do to him if he didn't comply. He feels Mona put some sort of liquid on his hands which he assumes is fake blood because he knows just as well as anyone that Mona goes all out. He hears the leaves crunching underneath Mona's heels as he sees her leave the clearing. He lays there on the ground in confusion as to why he was faking his own death in the middle of the forest when the only person who knew where he was was, well, Mona. So he figures he should be expecting someone.<p>

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><p>Spencer lost Mona and she had been walking around aimlessly. She comes across a clearing in the forest where she sees a disturbing sight. As she cautiously walks closer she gasps in horror. She sees an all to familiar tattoo. <em>901 Free At Last. <em>She kneels on the ground and looks at the body lying lifelessly on the ground, the body that used to hold her, the body that used to kiss her, and the body that used to love her. She slowly brings her hand to his helmet that he is wearing.

"He's dead." she hears the devious voice of Mona call.

A few soft, short, sobs try and escape her mouth.

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><p>Toby lays there wondering who is kneeling next to him. He hears the quiet sobs escaping the persons mouth. The only person who he knows would care that he is dead is Spencer but he is almost positive she doesn't care after what he did to her.<p>

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><p>Spencer quickly stands up. "Mona!" she yells loudly and angrily in to the forest. She runs out of the forest to confront the devil.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Toby felt his entire body freeze as he heard the scream of his now ex-girlfriend. He could hear true anger and devastation in her voice. He heard her run off into the forest. He felt a pang of guilt, though its not like he hadn't been feeling guilt since that dreadful night in Spencer's kitchen. Suddenly a wave of realization hit him. He realized why he was forced to fake his own death. It wasn't enough that he betrayed Spencer in the worst possible way. Now he had her convinced that he was dead. He became apart of this torture team to keep Spencer safe. Now he had hurt her more than -A ever had.

He was scared for what was to come. He knew Spencer better than anyone, even herself sometimes. She always feels the need to be strong at all times. Growing up she was taught that showing any type of emotion was considered weak. But who there for her when she couldn't be strong anymore? Who was there when she wanted to cry without being judged? And that was him, the person who she was supposed to trust with her life. He was supposed to be her shoulder to cry on. But now _he_ was her reason for crying.

Being apart of the A Team, he could see Spencer all the time. He had seen her since she found out about his betrayal. It was unbearable to watch her emotionally break down every day because of _him._ He had watched her wake up from dreams crying. He could only assume that those dreams were about him. He was supposed to be her safe place to land but now he was her worst nightmare.

He had to get back to the A-Lair to see how Spencer was doing. Of course he knew that she obviously wasn't doing well but he had to see her. Sometimes Mona being able to see the girls' every move came as an advantage.

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><p>Spencer ran through the forest searching for Mona, who she assumed killed Toby. As she ran, her vision blurred from the tears falling from her eyes. She finally stopped in defeat as she came into another clearing in the forest. Suddenly all of her emotions just hit her like a wave like that's what she was running from and it had finally caught up to her. She collapsed to her knees and finally just gave up. Her entire body shook as everything that had happened ripped her apart inside and she finally cried. But there was no on there for her this time. She just sat on the ground as the sobs escaped her. She struggled to breathe between the tears. She felt as though her entire world was crumbling around her. It was like some sick movie where she just had to sit by and watch her self break more and more everyday. Well now she had finally shattered.<p>

She doesn't even know why she's so upset about his death. Shouldn't she be relieved. That thought caused her great pain. Her whole relationship with Toby was fake. He never loved her.

She sat on the ground hysterically sobbing, mourning the love she had lost. She doesn't think that she will ever love like that again. Or find someone who loved her, even though it was fake, like he did. He knew her better than else. He knew when she was sad and knew exactly what she needed. He knew when she was lying and when to push her on it and when not to. He knew how important school was to her. He accepted that on some nights she would spend more time with her textbooks than with him. He knew her crazy coffee habits and exactly how she liked it. He also knew to never approach her in the morning without a big mug of black coffee in your hand. He knew that sometimes she lashed out when she was upset. One of the most important things he knew, was how to make her smile and laugh, when she considered it impossible. She needed that right now. No one would ever know her like he did.

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><p>Toby raced back to the lair after that little stunt Mona pulled. He had to act like he was okay with it to put on a good performance. If Mona discovered the truth about why he really joined the A Team he couldn't even fathom what she would do to him. She hit Hanna with a car when she thought Hanna knew she was A. Now to find out she was being manipulated? He had no idea how he was going to pretend he was okay with her emotionally snapping his true love in half. Thankfully, when he got to the lair, Mona wasn't there. He sat down at the computer and tracked Spencer's phone.<p>

To his surprise, she was still in the forest. This concerned him because an hour had already passed since Spencer found him in the forest. He got on his motorcycle and rode to the forest to see what was going on with her. He couldn't even imagine the sadness he had caused her.

He arrived at forest and he quickly, but quietly as to not alert Spencer of his presence. As he walked the sounds of heart wrenching sobs grew louder. He came upon a clearing in the forest. He watched her through the trees, sobbing like he had never seen before. It was very painful for him to watch her look this defeated and broken. He had never seen her like this. She was always strong and never gave up on herself even when others had. That's probably because that is what people expected of her. She knew that he hadn't expected her to be strong all the time. He didn't even know he was crying until he felt a droplet fall from his face and hit his hand. He wiped it away and walked back to his motorcycle to go home, unable to watch her cry because of what he did to her. But he deserved it.

Toby managed to hold back his tears until he got to his desired destination. He doesn't even know why he came here. He didn't deserve to be here. He just wanted to feel close to her since he couldn't actually be close to her. He came to _their spot. _He remembered telling her telling her that there were monsters in this town. Now he was that monster.

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><p>Spencer doesn't even know what time it is, how long she has been here, or where she is. She is just wandering around the forest aimlessly, crying. Someone approached her. He looked like some sort of hiker.<p>

"Exscuse me, Ms.?"

Spencer didn't even feel emotionally stable enough to answer him.

"Are you okay?"

She internally laughed at his ignorance. Did she look okay? She's wandering around the woods crying.

"I'm going to call the park rangers, okay?"

She just sat on the ground, once again feeling defeated. She was so lost in her own emotions that she couldn't even hear the conversation the concerned stranger was having with the park rangers.

Once the rangers arrived they escorted her into their vehicle and called it in.

She heard the ranger call it in to the others.

"Yeah, we've got a 302. We're gonna need a psych evaluation. Some hiker found her walking around the forest looking dazed and had no phone. No ID."

The ranger ended the call and got in the car to drive her to who-knows-where. Spencer mouthed Toby's name over and over again as they drove. Then they finally reached their destionation. _Radley Sanitarium. _For the emotionally or mentally unstable. And she guessed that was what she had become.

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><p>Toby awoke and headed quickly to the lair. He needed to know where Spencer was and how she was doing. He tracked her phone again. What he saw frightened him. She was still in the forest. She stayed there all night? He immediately got to his motorcycle and drove to the forest for the second time in 24 hours. He found the clearing he had seen her in the previous night. She wasnt there. He saw something lying on the ground though. He walked closer to it and discovered that it was her purse. He knew that bag anywhere. He became really worried at the thought that Spencer was lost, hurt, or <em>worse.<em> He left the forest leaving her purse where it was. He hurried back to the lair.

When he walked in he saw Mona doing her usual A things. He pretended like it was his first time there this morning so Mona wouldn't know he tracked Spencer's phone.

"So what's going on?" Toby asked her.

"Well you girl went cray cray and put herself in Radley."

Toby froze. _Radley._ He knew that place better than any sane person should. His mother was put in Radley for depression and she wound up jumping off the roof. She left the world because she felt defeated. The thought of Spencer being in a place like that, the thought of losing her like she thinks she lost him, that scares him more than anything he has ever experienced. What hurts the most is that he put her there. He broke her.


	3. Chapter 3

Spencer was given a gown a slippers. One of the nurses dressed her wound, which she can't even remember how she got. Apparently, she has amnesia from the previous night. But she could never forget the way he betrayed her. She's finding it very nice not being Spencer Hastings. Instead she's _Jane Doe._ It's like a vacation. No one knows her or her story. Best of all, there's no -A.

Spencer cautiously walks around the recreation room. She spots a piano in the corner. Her mother used to force her and her sister to take piano lessons when she was a little girl. She decided to see how much of that skill she still possessed. She sat down on the bench and began playing one of the random pieces that was there. She could feel her worries escaping her as the calming sound escaped the instrument. She was quite proud at her musical ability, considering she hadn't played in years.

"Spencer?"

Suddenly she was sucked out of her worry- free, well relatively, world. She couldn't quite recognize the voice. As she turned around she was face to face with Dr. Sullivan. And then she wasn't Jane Doe anymore. She was Spencer Hastings. She could no longer hide behind this mask of her emotions because Dr. Sullivan knew her story. What she didn't know is how Spencer ended up in Radley Sanitarium.

She then realized how long she had been staring at Dr. Sullivan, lost in her own thoughts and emotions.

"Dr. Sullivan, what are you doing here?"

"I was sent here to do a psych evaluation on a Jane Doe found in the forest. Spencer, what happened?"

Spencer let out a bitter laugh. "How much time do you have?"

"Come on, let's go somewhere a little more private" And with that, Dr. Sullivan led her into a secluded room and shut the door.

Spencer sat down and proceeded to fidget with her hands.

Dr. Sullivan sat down across from her. "Spencer, why didn't you tell them who you were?"

Spencer inhaled a shaky breath. "It was very nice not being Spencer Hasting, even if for only a little while" she said with a certain sadness that Dr. Sullivan had never seen from her before.

"Spencer what happened in those woods that made you not want to be Spencer Hastings anymore?"

"Toby's dead." she said with such anger but also such sadness that made it hard to read her emotions. "I didn't kill him, but I am the reason he is dead. I saw his body in the forest" she said holding back tears.

"You sit here and let me call the police and tell them." Dr. Sullivan walked out of the room and left Spencer by herself.

Within minutes, Dr. Sullivan returned to finish talking with Spencer.

"So what happened with you and Toby?" she asked cautiously as to not upset Spencer in her current state.

"_Toby _is A" she said, with such hatred and devastation in her voice.

Dr. Sullivan stared at her in shock. "What about Mona?"

"He was working with her the whole time." Sobs were trying to escape her but she forced them down. She wiped a tear from her face and continued. "He never loved me. Our whole relationship was _fake. _He was using me for information the whole time."

Spencer was suddenly broke from her thoughts as Dr. Sullivan's phone rang.

"Hold on Spencer. This is the police station to give me information on the body. I had them go look for it immediately."

And once again she left the room. Spencer didn't know if she was emotionally ready to hear about Toby's death again.

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><p>Toby was nervously sitting in the lair. He couldn't believe Spencer was in <em>Radley<em>.

"So what's going on with Spencer?" he asked his partner in crime.

Mona turned around and give him one her famous devious smirks.

"She's still walking around in my old robe and slippers, if that's what your asking." she replied referring to her time spent in Radley.

"So what's the plan now?" Toby asked her nervously, but she did not pick up on that.

"I'm planning on heading over to Radley to pay Spencer a little visit." she answered mischievously.

"Why?" Toby asked, with a hint of confusion in his voice. The thought of Mona torturing Spencer further was not very pleasing to him.

"It's time for me and Spencer to finish our little chat from when she found out I was A." And with that she exited the lair.

This made Toby very nervous. Mona is just relentless when it comes to torturing these girls.

He couldn't stop thinking about Spencer. How she must feel. She thought their whole relationship was fake. That he never loved her. But that wasn't true. He loved her with every fiber of his being. He only wanted to keep her safe. He did that in the worst way possible. He put her in Radley. He knew Spencer had a lot of trouble letting her guard down. It took a while for her to completely trust him. And what did he do? He went and betrayed her int the worst possible way. He became her worst fear.

Suddenly his mind drifted away from Spencer and onto another girl, Emily. He realized how much this probably hurt her. He had helped her come out and be comfortable being who she is and loving who she wants. He considered them friends or like a little sister and now he betrayed her too.

He felt worthless again. He suddenly felt the alone and usless feeling he had been struggling with when Spencer walked into his life. She helped him realize that he wasn't alone although he had felt this way since his mother left his life. She showed him what is was like to be truly loved for who he was. She also showed him that love was blind. He had started to see how true this really was. All he saw was his love for Spencer, so he joined this despicable team to protect her. Now he had lost the only person who loved him for who he was, besides his mother. He lost both of them.

His vision blurred from the tears building up. He needed to get out of the lair. He didn't know where he wanted to go. He just got on his motorcycle and drove. He doesn't even remember how he had got here. He, once again, ended up at _their spot. _He was being very cruel to himself coming here over and over again, but then again, he deserved it.

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><p>Dr. Sullivan was gone longer than last time and this worried Spencer. But as if on cue, Dr. Sullivan came back into the room. But this time she wore a different type of emotion. It was a strange one that Spencer couldn't quite read.<p>

"Spencer, I have some troubling news to share with you."

Spencer didn't respond. She just gave her this look as to say "continue."

"The body you saw. In the forest. It was a park ranger. The body did not belong to Toby Cavanaugh."

Spencer didn't even know what to say. All of a sudden she was crying. She couldn't hold it in anymore. She covered her face in her hands. Then she remembered something.

"Wait, I saw his tattoo."

Dr. Sullivan looked at her strangely. "Spencer they already ID'ed this man. It was not Toby Cavanaugh."

Spencer couldn't fathom her emotions into words. She just lets the tears fall.

"Spencer, I think with all that happened between you two. How he betrayed you. Maybe you were wishing it to be him."

Her head shot up and she looked at her like she had slapped her.

"I would never wish death on him. I- I- I love him." she stuttered questioning on wether she still felt that way.

Dr. Sullivan didn't respond. She just looked at her with pity and sympathy. She suddenly felt like "the girl who cried Toby."

"Dr. Sullivan. I know what I saw. Toby Cavanaugh is dead."

Dr. Sullivan gave her a curt nod and walked out of the room.

Spencer just sat there with her head buried in her hands. She felt like she was drowning.

Suddenly she heard footsteps approaching her and assumed it was Dr. Sullivan again.

"Hello Spencer"

Spencer froze. She did not just hear Mona Vanderwaal's voice. The devil was not standing in front of her. She cautiously rose her head. As much as she has wished it not to be true, Mona Vanderwaal was standing in front of her. How dare she? After what Mona had done to her? How dare she come here?

"What do you want Mona?"

"Look at all that has happened since you declined my offer to join the A Team on our little drive up the mountain. But luckily for you I believe in second chances."

In her head, Spencer relived everything that she had endured since then. All of the pain, suffering, and heart break. She was tired of being the victim. She made a life changing decision in that moment.

"You don't have to ask me again Mona. I'm in."

Mona gave her that devilish grin of hers. "Perfect."

As Mona was walking away, Spencer called out to her, "why did you do it."

Mona turned around with a smirk. " Your going to have to give me a hint."

Spencer laughed bitterly at this "performance" Mona was putting on. "You know damn well what I am talking about. Why did you kill Toby?" she said with anger while holding back tears.

"Oh sweetie, I didn't kill him. That was a little stunt to toy with you further. Let me tell you, you didn't disappoint. He will be your reward on Friday for delivering the girls to me. You have a week to create a plan to get the girls to me. I'm ready to end this once and for all." And with that, she left Spencer.

Spencer was at a loss for words or emotion. She didn't know she was crying until she the moisture dripping off her face. Toby was alive. She would get to see him again. Did she want to? He betrayed her. Then a wave of realization hit her. She has to deliver her friends to -A. What has she done? Now she was no better than Toby. "_I'm ready to end this once and for all" _she remembered Mona saying. "Oh my god" she said to herself. She realized not only was she delivering her friends to -A, she was delivering them to their death.


	4. Chapter 4

Spencer was finally released from Radley. Although, she didn't feel any less crazy. Today was her first day "on the job." She was to report to the A-Lair today and get to business. Thankfully, Toby wouldn't be there because she doesn't know how she would have handled such a confrontation.

Spencer cant even wrap her head around this sick game she has to play. Most girls have to worry about what they got on their French test or who they're going to Prom with. Spencer, however, isn't most girls. She has to worry how she is going to betray her friends and deliver them to be Mona. Spencer can only assume that she is going to kill them. Hallmark probably doesn't make 'Sorry I became -A and had you killed' cards.

Spencer arrived at the lair in the black hoodie she was awarded when she accepted the oh so kind offer. When she walked in, Mona just looked at her, smirked, and got back to whatever she was doing.

Mona rose from chair. "I have things to do. I'll be back in an hour."

Spencer didn't respond. She still couldn't understand how she had gotten herself in this mess.

As Mona was walking out the door, she spun around. "Spencer, be good. Don't do anything you will regret."

Spencer looked at her, once again rendered speechless by the whole ordeal. She just nodded and turned around waiting to hear the door shut.

As soon as Mona was gone, Spencer's curiosity grew. She sat down at the computer. She was very curious on how Mona did what she did. As she was looking through random files and programs, something caught her attention. _Contacts. _Was Mona baiting her? Did she know easily Spencer could get access to this? Cautiously she clicked on it, worried somehow she would set off some sort of alarm or something. Like the ones in the Egyptian pyramids. The fact that she was thinking about school in a time like this didn't surprise her. She's a Hastings. Its in her DNA. The window opened. _Please enter password._Of course it had a password. Spencer anxiously tapped her fingers on the computer. Suddenly she had a thought, and she slowly typed in six letters she dreaded. _Alison. _She was granted access. That bitch. Of course it didn't really surprise her.

Then her heart stopped. She froze. The most recent contact, _Toby. _It stared at her in the face practically begging her to text him. She hadn't spoke to him on his number since before this mess of things. This must be his -A number because she didn't recognize it.

Before she even realized what she was doing, she had his contact open and started typing.

_Meet me at the diner._

Those simple five words. The game was about to change. She wasn't supposed to see Toby until Friday. Suddenly, she couldn't wait any longer. She needed answers. Hopefully he had gained some sort of respect for her throughout their "relationship." But it didn't matter because she wasn't leaving without answers.

She put on her black gloves and back boots to complete her "-A" appearance. She headed out to her car and braced herself for what was to come. She was on her way to see _him. _He who betrayed her. He who broke her. He who faked his death just to torture her more. But to her dismay, to her, he was still, he who held her. He who kissed her. He who understood her caffeine addiction. He who beat her at scrabble. He who played with her hair while they kissed. He who loved her. Or so she thought.

While lost in her own thoughts, she hadn't realized that she arrived at the diner. She clamped her eyes closed and fought herself on whether or not this was a good idea. She reached out for the handle of the car door. She rested her hand on it debating on whether or not she should open the door. She finally decided that she needed answers. She deserved them. She open the door and slammed it shut as to not let herself rethink this. She leaned against her car and buried her face in her hands. She let herself shed a tear before deciding that she needed to do this. She quickly walked into the diner and made her way to a booth. Its now or never.

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><p>Toby was on his way to the diner he and Mona usually meet at. He had gotten a from her telling him to meet her here. He hadn't spoken to her since she had visited Spencer at Radley. He assumed it was about the chat they had. He was nervous to see how he would be forced to torture Spencer further.<p>

It was really hard pretending to hate the only girl he ever truly loved. He missed her brown curly hair that was always styled to perfection. The hair that he twirled with his fingers as they kissed. He missed her mocha colored eyes that always looked at him like he was the most precious thing in the world to her. He remembers how angry and devastated those eyes looked that night in her kitchen when she had discovered his betrayal. He missed the way she blushed whenever he complimented her or expressed his love for her. He missed the way her eyes fluttered closed as they would lean in to kiss each other. He missed how she bit her lip whenever she was really concentrated, He smiled at the fact that she also did that when she was feeling particularly seductive or lustful. He missed every single little thing about her.

He finally pulled in to the parking lot of the small secluded diner. He realized how much this betrayal of Spencer's love really effected him. He hadn't been in his apartment since his and Spencer's anniversary. He hadn't even been in the brew in case he ran into Spencer or one of the girls. He actually hadn't been able to go really anywhere around Rosewood.

Finally he realized how long he'd been sitting in the parking lot. He didn't like making Mona wait. He finally got out of his car and walked to the diner. As he opened the door he hard the bells hanging from it chime, as he had many other times.

"Well hello pretty eyes. You can seat yourself."

He smiled at the nice cashier and she flashed him a friendly smile back.

He walked to the booth where he saw a black hoodie waiting.

He sat down across from Mona.

"Hanna got the job" he said referring to Hanna's new babysitting job for Ezra Fitz.

"I know."

Toby froze. He could recognize that raspy voice anywhere.

The black hooded person raised their head to reaveal themselves.

_Spencer._

Toby couldn't even fathom his thought into a coherent sentence.

"Spencer." He was completely stunned by the girl sitting in front of him.

"When I was in Radley, Mona told me you were alive. I wanted to believe her but until now." She looked at him with sad eyes.

She continued. "Back in the woods," she started angrily, "was that you?"

"Were you apart of it?"

He looked at her with equally sad eyes. "Mona told me after." There was nothing he could say to justify himself and what he did.

"And you let me believed you were dead?" she said harshly clearly fighting back tears.

"Everything I've done was so I could protect you." He looked at her, practically begging her to believe him.

"I want to believe that." And she really did want to belive that he truly loved her.

Toby tried to make their conversation a little more private. "Does Mona know your here?" he said in a more hushed tone.

The thought of Mona made Spencer angry. "No, she doesn't."

Toby grew curious. "How did you find me?"

Spencer let her mouth curl into a small smirk. "Mona left me alone in her lair."

Toby almost smiled at her persistence to get what she wants. She wanted answers and now, here she is.

"She told me that you would be there Friday. That you would be my reward for delivering the girls."

Suddenly something clicked with Toby. She was wearing a black hoodie. A wave of astonishment washed over him. She joined the A Team.

"I kidnapped a seven year old." she continued. "I'm the reason that Aria and Ezra broke up so I've earned her trust.

Toby could hear the guilt and misery in her voice. She didn't want to betray her friends and ruin people 's lives.

"It's not safe for you to be here." he said with concern.

She gave him this look he's never seen before. "I stopped worrying about me along time ago."

"What we had was real, Spencer. I've been pretending to work with Mona so I could keep you safe. I need you believe me, and I need you to follow me."

And with that he got up, expecting Spencer to follow him.

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><p>She did. She got up from her seat and followed him out to the parking lot. When she got out there he handed her a piece of paper with an address on it and got on his motorcycle.<p>

She stared at he address as Toby started his bike and pulled out. She finally got into her car and trailed behind him.

When she arrived, she saw that he brought her to a motel. This brought back memories for her. She remembered that night in the motel room with Toby on their stakeout. She remembered their scrabble game and how somehow he beat her with the word _goofball_ meanwhile she played the word _glyceraldehyde. _That was besides the point. She also remembered their first kiss. She wasn't even expecting it and apparently, neither was he.

She got out of her car and cautiously knocked on the door with the room number he had also written down.

She heard him rummaging around behind the door with the locks.

"Hey"

"Hey"


	5. Chapter 5

**Last Chapter:( Leave reviews for new story ideas:)**

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><p>They have never felt this sort of tension between them before. The way they could barely make eye contact with each other was unbearable for both of them. This was new territory.<p>

"Come in." Toby stepped aside to let her in, still awkwardly looking down at the ground.

Spencer just nodded, suddenly at a loss for words.

She walked into the motel in who-knows-where, Pennsylvania. She looked around a bit. It didn't really look like he was staying here. Then she realized how long she'd really been looking around and she somehow fathomed her thoughts into words.

"It doesn't really look like anybody lives here" she said cautiously.

"I shuffle around between motels" he said just as cautiously.

Neither of them had ever dealt with a situation like this.

"Coffee?" Toby asked. He almost knew the answer.

"Always" she said her mouth almost curling into a smile, but quickly disappearing, realizing this wasn't the time.

They waited for the coffee to brew in silence.

Spencer just stared out the window. This wasn't like their last motel experience. She wondered what her friends would think about the fact that she was standing in the same room as the devil. It hurt for her to think of_ Toby _as _the devil. _Up until recently, Toby was the sweetest human being she had ever encountered.

Toby made the coffee to Spencer's liking. He knew exactly how she liked her coffee, he knew _everything_ about her. Except how she was feeling right now. He could usually read her like an open book. Right now, she had this impassive aura around her. It was like she was having internal debate with herself. He had to make sure, whether or she forgave him, she knew that she was never played. He always loved her. Nothing about their relationship was fake.

The coffee finally finished brewing. He walked over to her and handed her the mug. Their hands brushed against each other as she took the mug from his hands. This was the first time they had touched in weeks. That was sickening for the both of them. They could both still feel the sparks as their skin touched. It left a burning desire in both of their hearts.

As selfish as he knew it was, he wanted to touch her. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to say how much he loved her. He wanted to love her. It was his fault that he couldn't do any of those things right now.

He sat on the edge of the bed feeling defeated. Spencer looked like she was ready for her answers.

"So, redcoat?" she asked him.

"The only thing I know about redcoat, is that she's in charge."

"I know" she said sadly. She didn't really know who Toby was anymore. Did he really mean everything he had said at the diner?

"You still don't trust me" he said finally being able to read her.

"Look, I understand why you did what you've been helping Mona. I made the same decision." she said somewhat bitterly. She wasn't showing any sympathy to the guy who broke her.

"But if I saw you hurting, the way I know that you saw me." She was swallowing the tears that she was holding back.

Suddenly Toby lost hope in fixing her broken heart and winning back his one true love. He buried his head in his hands. She was right. He saw her hurting. He saw her breaking. What she doesn't know, he was breaking watching her feel the things she did.

Right now, he couldn't be as strong as her.

"Toby.." she said, unsure of herself at the moment.

Toby lifted his head. Tears were streaming from his face. He could barely make eye contact with her. He couldn't lose Spencer even though he deserved to.

Spencer finally came to a realization. He wasn't lying to her. He really meant everything he said. And more importantly, he loved her. He always did.

She bent down in front of him and caressed his face with her hands. She had never seen him cry before. She took the pads of her thumb and wiped the tears away from his face.

Before Toby even knew what was happening, Spencer was holding his face with her hands and wiping his tears away. And then he saw it. He saw her lips turn up into a smile. A real one, The smile he hadn't seen in weeks. She forgave him

He grabbed the back of her sweatshirt in his hands and pulled her closer to him. Their foreheads rested against each other. Their eyes had finally met and instead of seeing all of these unreadable thought and emotion through them, they only saw one. _Love. _

And then it happened. Their lips crashed onto each other. All of the passion, desire, and lust that they couldn't express was suddenly coursing through their bodies, pouring into this kiss.

Their love was always unexpected. It was always true and genuine. They went through everything a normal couple goes through and then some. They went through hardship and sadness but they had passion and this sort of magnetic attraction to each other. The odds weren't always on their side but their love over came that.

Spencer saved Toby from himself when he thought he couldn't go on anymore. Everyone hated him. Then came Spencer Hastings. She was live this light at the end of the dark tunnel that was his life. She was his savior, his angel. She proved to him that he deserved to be loved and that he could be loved for who he really was. Spencer created something magnificent out of _Toby Cavanaugh. _She showed all of the amazing things that he was capable of. But most importantly, she showed him something that no one had since his mother died. _Love. _

Spencer didn't expect to fall in love with Toby Cavanaugh. He was her forbidden love. They were like two different worlds. She was the first class rich girl, much to her dismay. He was the outcast who no one cared about. Then their worlds collided and created something beautiful. This deep romance that shouldn't have happened but it did. Spencer was never really given any acceptance, support or love from her family. As long as she got high grades and went to fancy dinners she was a Hastings. She was always never known for her last name instead of who she was. Then she found Toby. And he didn't care about her last name. He showed her the love she had never gotten as a child. He stayed with her even when she was being a stubborn, annoying, coffee obsessed, school addic, pain in the ass. He loved her unconditionally.

_They _loved _each other_ unconditionally.


End file.
